Wednesday, 10 April 2013

Staff affairs

Hello. My name is Kostas Economides and I am a lecturer in the Department of Economics at the University of the South of England (USE for short). Well, actually that is not true really as the names of individuals and institutions in this blog have been changed to protect the innocent - and the guilty!

I had to pop in to Molly May's office this morning to leave a finance expenses form for Mike Rowe to sign. I couldn't get away for ages as she wanted to talk to me about what she calls my "Love Life". "Hello dear" she said, "Did you have a nice Easter break?" I replied that it had been a nice break away from teaching and meetings and that I had caught up a bit on my research.

"You really need to get out more, dear, and have some fun." said Molly. I protested that I had spent a very nice evening last week with Jack and his wife Fiona, and that I had also met up with Jack, Richard and Sian in the pub a couple of times. And I do get out quite often going to the cinema and football with Jack, Petros and Dimitris. "They are all happily married" she replied. You need a girlfriend" "What about Sian? She is a lovely girl. Why don't you ask her out somewhere?"

I said that I like Sian very much; she is good company but I didn't think we were suited in a more serious way. "Well are there any other potential girlfriends we can find for you I wonder?" said Molly. I said that I did used to have a girlfriend back in Greece, Maria. "And when did you last see her?" asked Molly. I said that it was probably in 2011 when I was last in Greece. Molly said I must be kidding myself if I thought she would still be interested in me. Had she been in touch by email or phone? Not even Facebook. Forget her!

Then she laughed. "You know there was a rumour going round that you were having an affair with your cleaner!" she said. "What! Kylie! Why would anyone think that?" I exploded. "Well you do get in to work very early and have been seen spending a lot of time talking to her" said Molly. "That is ridiculous" I responded. "I bet it was Colin the caretaker who started that rumour just for a laugh."

"Well there are some affairs going on in this building" said Molly. "I could tell you about one of the Professors in another department who is having a fling with his secretary. They go out together for very long lunch breaks. And there was that couple in Marketing. They got married eventually but were seeing each other for a long time before that." "But they were both already divorced" I pointed out. "There was nothing sordid about it. "

"And what about Gus Johns?" said Molly. "You can often see him in the cafeteria chatting up that girl in Computer Science". "Don't be silly Molly" I said. "Gus has been happily married to Heather for years. And anyway the Computer Science girl is gay. She and Gus just have a mutual interest in the use of social media in education." And at that point I decided I had had enough of this conversation so I left.

Sitting here now though I am thinking that maybe I should make more of an effort to find a girlfriend. And then I remembered that there was going to be another Pub Quiz Social Evening soon. And last time I had really enjoyed the company of Jenny from the Library. I wonder if she will be there again this time?

No comments:

Post a Comment